Happy Christmas Mr Creepy Dude!
by Swampfire Leatherweed
Summary: AU. If Christmas existed in Alagaesia, this is what it would be like. A oneshot to make you laugh, cry, and get little fuzzies.


A Swampfire Christmas Part I: Eragon 

Disclaimer: If I were CP, I would be working on the cycle, not writing fanfiction.

AN: I know, I know everyone wants to read "Why Me?". Too bad, you are getting this for now.  
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Happy Christmas Mr. Creepy Dude!  
Dedicated to Chelsea

If Durza knew Scrooge, they would be best friends. They would start an Anti-Christmas club and have meetings regularly from October to January. If Durza knew the Grinch, they would be a dynamic duo. They would make an Anti-Christmas petition and threaten people into signing it. However, Durza did not know these people, so he was stuck enduring the holidays on his own.

The shade walked through the streets of Uru'baen in a miserable mood. The snow slowed his progress as he walked towards the castle. It was very high and leaked into his shoes, chilling him to the bone. Another layer of snow fell from the sky covering his crimson hair in a sprinkle of white. He looked ridiculous staggering down the street in a powdery covering mumbling and grumbling.

People around him smiled and laughed. Durza wondered how they could be so cheery when the weather was so bad. He watched as little children looked in shop windows, begging their parents for toys and sweets. _Children are so greedy,_ Durza thought, _Always wanting this and that and never giving you a moment's peace._ As he thought this, a little girl came up to him.

"Hello Mr. Creepy Dude," she said to him. She was very small, probably only seven. She wore tattered clothing and she was grinning ear to ear.

"My name is not Mr. Creepy Dude. Now, go play little girl," said Durza, obviously annoyed.

"I'm Sally. Are you going to a Christmas party?" asked the girl.

"No, I'm not."

"I wish I could go to a Christmas party, but mama says we didn't get invited to one."

"I wonder why," said Durza sarcastically. Sally was obviously low class; too poor to be invited to a grand event.

"I asked mama, but she just said she had to finish chores. I'm going to ask papa when he gets home."

Durza kept walking. He wanted the girl to leave him alone. She was bothering him with her nonsense and cheerfulness. Did she not notice that he was not interested? And why did she have to talk to him of all people? It was enough to endure the holiday season, but this? Some higher being must be getting a kick out of watching Durza, an evil shade general, being pestered by a 7-year-old girl.

"Do you eat a nice dinner on Christmas? We do. Mama cooks more than usual just for us. Anna and Jesse and me help too."

Durza rolled his eyes as Sally followed him. Of course, he ate a nice dinner on Christmas. He ate a nice dinner every night. He was so powerful he did not even need to lift a finger when it came to getting what he wanted. In fact, he probably had a meal waiting for him at the castle at that very moment.

"I wanted to get a porcelain doll for Christmas. I told my mama so she wouldn't forget and I was very good too."

"That's nice," Durza replied, not knowing what else to say to the child.

"But Jesse says I'm not going to get one. He says that we can't afford to get presents this year."

"Well, that's too bad."

"Do you celebrate Christmas with your family?"

"I don't have one."

"What happened? Did they pass away? My grampa passed away last year. I was really sad."

"I just don't have one."

Durza did not want to think about it, but he did. Carsahib had a family, but not Durza. No, Durza was all by himself, alone in the world. Being a shade meant you had no friends and no family. You spent your entire life powerful, but alone. This may have been why Durza hated Christmas so much. He had no one to share it with. No one to buy presents for or eat dinner with.

"What about a bestest friend? I have a bestest friend named Lisa."

"I don't have friends either."

"Don't you get lonely with no friends?"

"No."

Of course, this was a lie. Shades are just like everyone else, only evil. They like to be in the company of others and they can get lonely. Durza was probably one of the most miserable and lonely people you could ever meet. Who was there to be friends with him? No one, that is who. Sally had made Durza think about many things that he had not before.

This little girl had made Durza feel more like he had back then, back when he was Carsahib. The girl had performed what most would call a miracle. She had softened the shade's stony heart and made him more sympathetic. He had even started to enjoy the company of this little child. However, it did not last. The two had nearly reached the castle gates.

"I have to go now. Why don't you run along?"

"Alright. Happy Christmas Mr. Creepy Dude!"

"Happy Christmas Sally," he said quietly.

Durza walked the rest of the way in silence, contemplating the conversation he had with Sally. The little girl had indeed changed him.

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The next day, Christmas, Durza awoke to the smell of food. Apparently, the cooks had already started cooking the feast for that night. Durza got out of bed and went through his usual daily routine. He then headed to the throne room for his meeting with Galbatorix.

On his way, he was stopped by a soldier who wanted to ask him a favor. The soldier looked distraught, as if something was bothering him to no ends. He was on the verge of tears as he came up to Durza with a letter in his hands.

"What do you want?" Durza asked the soldier.

"Please, General Durza, I need to take the day off."

"You were scheduled to guard the treasury today, that is too important to miss."

"Please, I just got a letter from my wife. It is a family emergency."

"Well, I suppose so. I will get someone else to do your job."

"Thank you! Thank you so much!"

"Wait, what is the emergency?"

"It is my daughter Sally. She has been sick for so long and she... she passed away last night. She was only seven."


End file.
